Am I real?

According to Renee Descartes, the fact that I can think proves I exist. Everything else may be an illusion or a deception. Wow! Does that mean I exist in The Matrix, where reality is a virtual world created by an artificial intelligence? Maybe the only way I can get my life back is to disconnect from smart technology and do my own thinking. But I needed a slap in the face to break my dependence on all the mind-numbing conveniences of life in the 21^st century. That knockout punch was the Covid pandemic and the mandate to shelter-in-place.

What to think about?

The pivotal moment occurred after I had exhausted my to-do list. I asked myself: must every waking moment be spent in gainful activity? I’d organized the closets, sanitized surfaces, and loaded up on essentials. Too much reading, watching TV, and surfing my smartphone has blinded me. My joints are rebelling from excessive exercise, and the refrigerator is overflowing with home-cooked meals. Now there was nothing left to do but listen to myself think. A life-long neurotic, I couldn’t allow my thoughts to wander aimlessly. Instead, I decided to focus on whatever notion got stuck in my brain – like that song that keeps popping into your head, no matter what else is going on. The first monkey wrench in my mind was the title of this page.

Thinking my way to a new reality

And thanks to sheltering-in-place, an excess of me-time paves a meandering path through my interior worlds. Here I reign supreme. No one can laugh at me, snigger at my childishness, or limit where my thoughts take me. I’m Alice in Wonderland where anything is possible; and this website is the looking glass. From now on, I’ll dance to my own beat, if only in my mind.

Henry David Thoreau said it well: “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears the beat of a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”